Videos!

Wow I just realized I hadn't published anything since January (although I had an unfinished draft which I'm publishing today with a fake date) - I knew I was slacking off on the blog but I hadn't realized I was slacking off THAT much.  Here are some videos from last Saturday's lesson with Marina - just to kind of show our progress.  Daniela has me riding with ONE draw / running rein - in case my English equestrian term is off what I'm referring to is a long rein which attaches to the girth between her front legs, then runs up through the bit ring and back to my hands.  This gives lots of leverage and allows me to pretty much force her head down when I want to - for instance if she gets stargazy when her best friend's in the parking lot or for canter departs where she tends to throw her head up, I can bring her head back down.  I know this is not an ideal situation and really hope to be able to get rid of the lot of auxiliar reins soon, but with the videos I've confirmed two things which make me a little bit less apprehensive - for one I'm not riding her behind the vertical except for specific situations (spooks, temper tantrums, etc...) where she herself sucks back and goes behind the bit, and these situations are really not very common at all - I mean this might happen once for a few seconds every three or four rides.  For another, I note that the draw rein is loose a lot of the time, which is what I was going for - to use it only for a few seconds, then drop it again.

The truly important thing that's coming out of all this is not just that Starbuck's learning to carry herself correctly and flex at the poll (although this is pretty awesome), but that I'm learning what it feels like for her to be actively using her hindquarters and "working through the back".  I never really understood this phrase but now I think I'm starting to - there's much more activity (and it's harder to ride!) and I can truly feel the energy coming up from the hind legs, bounding through the back and topline and then cycling back down to my hands through the reins.  And now that I can feel it, I can ask for, identify and reward it promptly and accurately.

And best of all, she's so damn fun to ride these days!  And I really do get the feeling that she herself is enjoying it more now that she's realizing just how strong she is.

A bad day

We had a pretty bad day yesterday, Starbuck and I.  We were accompanied by Virginia and Coco, René and Rodrigo, Ana and Pepa and Carmen and Trueno - right off the bat Starbuck was very possesive of Coco and pinned her ears and pointed her butt at anyone who came near.  This was annoying but not really troubling to me - I tend to just ignore the pinned ears and try to see it as an opportunity to improve my leg aids getting her rear end back on track.  In addition to acting bitchy, she was also really full of beans - trying to get in front constantly and just general ADHD stuff - for instance when we got to a park with some hills where the other horses just walked calmly, she just had to gallop up, nearly unseating me when I lost my stirrups.  Thank goodness I remembered to grab mane and turn her in a circle.

 It went on and on - nothing too terrible for the most part but just her being only barely controllable, which wound me up, which wound her up even further, which made things worse.  To look on the bright side, it was a really interesting new route we'd never been on before with what looked like plenty of new places to explore on future rides, we did a fair amount of trotting on varied terrain so she was able to use her muscles differently than she does in the arena, and she was certainly tracking up the entire time.  One of the things I think is so valuable about our trail rides is that I don't tend to have to push her and can really practice trotting and cantering without constant leg cues, and yesterday was no exception - only I ended up with a sore back, a tension headache and blisters on my hands from the reins, so I don't even want to think about (but am making myself acknowledge) how her back and mouth must have felt.

On the way home things were even worse - she broke into a full out gallop several times and to discipline her I took what may not have been one of my best decisions of all time - every time she broke into a gallop I'd turn her around, walk her to the end of the group and only let her catch up with the group at a walk or a slow trot.  This understandably pissed her off even more, but I can't always let her have her way, especially if it entails unsafe behavior around other horses.  Anyhow this strategy worked more or less until we got back to the hilly park, where the rest of the horses walked down the hill and since she wanted to gallop and I wasn't able to rate her, I wouldn't let her go after them.  We circled and circled at the top of the hill and as the rest of the horses moved on out of sight she got more and more frantic until finally my friend Virginia came back with Coco to rescue us and we followed them down - at a trot, which was faster than I wanted but slower than Starbuck wanted.  I guess this is an example of “a good negotiation is one where both parties walk equally unhappy”.  I am now convinced that what I should have done is get off then and walk her down in hand, but I was too frantic to think clearly about anything but my aids and immediate strategy for not getting us killed.

The most serious scare was when we passed some people who were fixing a stone wall on the side of the road - a little old lady helping them started telling me "How lovely to see people riding horses out here in the countryside on a Sunday" when two cars passed us and Starbuck freaked out, lunging towards the poor little old lady before getting back in line and passing her.  She didn't get closer than about 5 feet, but still - it was still much too close for comfort and I felt awful for the poor lady.  I was so freaked out I don't even remember if I apologized.  Then only a few minutes later Carmen's horse Trueno got a little closer to Starbuck's rear end than she wanted and she gave a mini buck and then a BIG buck when he didn't heed the first one - thankfully he wasn't close enough for her to reach him but still... I was really losing it at this point - after two hours of tension and barely controlled explosions I was starting to really feel angry and superfrustrated and noticed that I was starting to do things like jerk on the reins and use the whip as a punishment.  So as soon as we got off the road I stopped her as soon as I could and jumped off and led her the rest of the way back to the stable, which was good for both of our backs anyway.  But I was feeling guilty, pissed, and scared.

By the time I longed her in the arena (no way she was getting off easy after the ride she gave me), showered her, rubbed her down and gave her a nice pile of hay, I was able to be a little more philosophical.  I do think my biggest mistake was not getting off earlier but trying to muscle my way through her craziness by riding, so next time I'll bring my long lead rope so I can do some emergency longeing if I need to.  Lesson # 1 learned.  Other lessons: it's important to be reminded from time to time that no matter how well she behaves on one trail ride (or lesson, or show, or whatever...), it's no guarantee she'll behave so well the next time, and that I can't get cocky since I still can't necessarily control her all the time.  I'm also going to get a green ribbon for her tail to give people (myself included) a visual reminder that she's not completely predictable, and I will never again stop right in front of a little old lady, even if it means being rude.

Mostly, I have to remember that we all have bad days, and I can't get bogged down or discouraged by this one, no matter how harrowing it was.  After all, it wasn't SO bad - we discovered a new route and went on a trail ride in sketchy (wind, dark threatening clouds) weather without maiming anyone, including ourselves.  And although it was touch and go at some points, I WAS still able to control her in the end.  I'm even trying to be optimistic and remember that usually when she has several really bad days close together it generally signals a learning spurt.  But still, next year she's getting liability insurance - it'll be one less thing to worry about.

Rainy Days

In autumn I'm always struck by how much Spaniards are like Southerners regarding the weather.  Except where Southerners totally freak out about snow and seem to have had no prior experience negotiating it, Spaniards freak out about rain.  Driving in the rain?  If you venture out at all (people will actually call in late to work because "it's raining too hard, I can't drive") you have to go like 35 mph on the interstate, and people dodge puddles and do other crazy crazy stuff with their cars like, well, like Southerners in the snow.  No one dreams of walking without an umbrella even if it's only drizzling and once again, lateness due to "waiting for the rain to stop" is completely acceptable in social situations, since if your hair gets wet you are doomed to die of pneumonia.  And riding?  Forget about it!

I will say in the folks at my stable's defense that since it only rains like 15 days out of the whole year it doesn't make much sense to have things like covered or self-draining arenas and the sand's kind of thin on the ground.  Add that to the fact that the ground at our stable has a lot of clay in it and you get dangerously slippery footing even in the arena for a few days after a downpour, especially if your horse is both clumsy and prone to spooking.  It rained all day Sunday and Monday, so even though it was nice yesterday, riding in the fenced arena was out of the question and a couple of friends suggested going out on a trail ride.  Now I was at a wedding all day on Saturday and due to the rain, Starbuck hadn't gotten out of her paddock since Friday.  So I was a liiiiitle apprehensive about taking her out (roads! motorcycles! manhole covers! bikes! farm animals! trucks! barking dogs! big white canvas bags full of rubble on the side of the road!) after so many days without any exercise but wanted to get the "rainy" season off to a good start and said yes.

I shouldn't have worried.  Aside from a few snorts at some gigantic and fantastically smelly hogs we encountered and a few strides of "collected canter" on the way home she was as cool as a cucumber, even when we trotted along a gravel road passing people out walking with strollers and dogs (sometimes she gets a little strong at the trot out in the open).  She was relaxed - even lazy - on the way out and we practiced going first, second and last in line, passing the other horses and having them pass us, and the only worry she seemed to have was snatching fennel flowers as we rode past them.  I tried to remember to praise her as much as possible and we ended up having a really nice time.

I'm so proud and excited that we have reached this point and am looking forward to NOT having our training schedule put on pause for 3 days every time it rains this winter!

By the way on Sunday I have my first show jumping competition - not with Starbuck since she's still not 100% fit after taking time off for her backache / lameness thing, but with Vent, one of Marina's horses.  He's a stubborn little beastie right on the height line between pony and horse who I really adore riding - for a lesson horse, he's got a fair amount of "spark" and will dump you (or try to) if you piss him off.  Strangely enough I'm not nervous about this (yet).

The Higher They Come, The Harder They Fall

Thanks to DawnLennon.com for the photo!

Disclaimer: Sorry Mom and Dad if you freak out reading this, I did try to call and tell you first yesterday ;-P

Maybe this was a self-fulfilling prophecy, and maybe I jinxed myself.  But remember how I was a little bit worried about our recent progress and the inevitable downhill trend which would follow?  Well, it ended up being me going downhill (or rather, downhorse) pretty abruptly on Wednesday evening when Starbuck gave one of her patented sideways spooks coming out of a jump.  I remember trying to do my standard "land feet first" mojo but my foot was lodged in the stirrup just long enough for me to land firmly on my right hip, with my head bouncing down after it a few miliseconds later.

I jumped up as soon as I could and got right back on and did a couple of laps in canter for that old "get right back in the saddle" thing - I've learned the hard way that the longer you wait before riding again after a nasty fall, the scarier it is when you get back on.  But I think I realized that I was a little too woozy to finish the class and when the resident Boy Friday at our stable, José Luis, offered to cool her off for me I gratefully handed her over.

The next couple of hours are a little fuzzy, like after a night of really heavy drinking when you can only remember embarrassing splotches of the night before.  Thankfully my friends Virginia and Belén realized that maybe me driving home wasn't the best idea and jumped into action, with Virginia taking me to the emergency room to make sure everything was OK and Belén driving to get Sergio so he could pick up the car and meet me at the emergency room.  Thanks girls!

Anyhow the doctor checked me out and said he thought I had had a light concussion and was now fine, but ordered a CAT scan just in case which was a new experience for me.  He also kept me in observation for a couple of hours, during which time I obsessed about being exposed to the H1N1 flu which is going around Spain these days.  But they let me go home shortly after midnight, just in time to make it to the Burger King before it closed.  This is a tradition with us - my husband loves American fast-food, so whenever Sergio has to go to the hospital with me I take him to Burger King to try to make up for it.

The next day I found that some serious hip pain along with a stiff robocop neck had decided to join up with the headache, so even though I went to the office I went home at lunchtime and on Friday I decided to take advantage of the fact that I hardly ever take sick days and rest up.  Saturday I finally made it to the stable to clean her stall and prepare her feed for the next few weeks, although because of some residual hip ouchies I didn't ride.  I did get a brand spanking new helmet though (my old one had received a few knocks and I was already planning to replace it) which I'll try out today - I'm really looking forward to getting back in the saddle and it's a beautiful day, as soon as I publish this I'll head out to the stable.

So what are my reflections on all this?  I plan to once again ride one of Marina's more dependable horses in a lesson at least once a week, perhaps without stirrups to work on my balance.  Marina has recommended that since I had her wolf teeth pulled this year, I should try out a bit (maybe something with a little leverage like a Pessoa) on Starbuck to see if I can get her used to responding to light rein aids even when she's worked up.  Lately she's been pulling on me a lot every time she's feeling skittish or high spirited - I've been riding with a Hackamore for the past year and a half which she's always done quite well on, but since I've been building up her strength she's not responding to it like she used to.  I'd rather use the bit during a few months and go back to 100% light rein signals with the hackamore than have to pull on her whenever she wants to go faster than me.  And finally, I'm also quite obviously not going to be quite so overconfident when riding Starbuck.

But most of all I'm just hoping this valley won't be too deep or too lengthy and am looking forward to moving back up.

Fear

I look like such a good, calm little girl!

Since I ended up making yet another crash landing last night (no harm done apart from a sore foot - I'm getting better at falling on my feet) and Marina made me "provoke" Starbuck into spooking to practice getting her back under control for nearly the entire lesson I decided it would be a good time to revisit my musings on that four-letter-word which is the bane of equestrians worldwide.  Nope, it's not "poop" nor "cash" (although those are pretty baneful), but "fear".  Insidious and contagious, it worms itself into your consciousness and slowly eats away at the joy and freedom that drew us to riding in the first place and bit by bit converts "passion" and "fun" into "hobby" and then "obligation".

Obviously in the past two and a half years I have had to overcome some major fear issues just to be able to start and keep riding my crazy little filly, but I still have lots of mental and emotional work to do, especially since my reactions to fear nearly always make things worse instead of better.  I would love to be one of these people who are galvanized by fright into efficient clarity of mind, but I'm not.  Instead of whipping into heroic action and doing just the right thing at just the right time, I freeze and tense up and get shaky hands and snap at people.

Coincidentally however, just yesterday I read this article and had jotted down my thoughts shortly before the lesson, so I was able to be much more philosophical than usual about last night's spooks and Marina's impromptu instructions.  The instructions, by the way, were to ride on the scary side of the arena keeping close to the fence and when she shies, trot with purpose back to where we were at before the spook and circle Starbuck in place there until she calms down and then let her rest for 30 seconds before going right back to what we were doing before all of this.  The first time I was worried that she might trip or freak out even more but she did fine and calmed down quicker than I expected to.  And even better, after the third spook+circlecirclecircle cycle, she licked her lips and dropped her head - hopefully a surefire sign that she was starting to get the picture.  And in fact she spooked very little after that, and without having to run halfway across the arena.

At any rate, without further ado here are my notes on the "10-step-deal-with-your-fears" program:

STEP 1: IDENTIFY FEARFUL SITUATIONS. 
* Riding outside stable grounds
* Riding on scary side of the arena

STEP 2: IDENTIFY FEARED OUTCOMES. 
* Starbuck might run into traffic
* I might fall off and Starbuck run away
* Starbuck might slip or rear and fall on top of me
* Starbuck might get out of control and hurt someone or destroy someone's property
* We might cause another rider's horse to throw them

STEP 3: DO A REALITY CHECK. 
* Starbuck might run into traffic - if she had a bad spook, I think this is possible, especially since she's not particularly scared of cars.  This is a legitimate concern.
* I might fall off and Starbuck run away - When I fall off in the arena, she stays with me.  And since we always trail ride with other horses, I'm pretty sure she would stay with them instead of run away.  Not a legitimate concern.
* Starbuck might slip or rear and fall on top of me - This isn't likely to happen at a walk or trot, and I'm not likely to canter on a slippery surface, but both of us are pretty clumsy and I wouldn't put it past her to take off at a gallop after a spook.  This is unlikely but a legitimate concern.
* Starbuck might get out of control and hurt someone or destroy someone's property - As I think she would stay close if I fell off, this isn't very likely.  Not a legitimate concern.
* We might cause another rider's horse to throw them - This hasn't happened yet and in any case depends on the other riders - in theory non-expert riders will be on dependable horses and horses more likely to be influenced by one of Starbuck's spooks will be ridden by people who know how to ride and accept the risk.  While it could theoretically happen I honestly don't think it's my responsability and thus is not a legitimate concern.

STEP 4: IDENTIFY YOUR "FEAR WORSENERS".
* Riding with spooky horses nearby
* Riding on slippery footing
* Riding in traffic, crowds or closed spaces

STEP 5: IDENTIFY "FEAR REDUCERS".
* Seeing Starbuck is calm
* Being near other calm horses I know will not spook
* Getting Starbuck's attention

STEP 6: IDENTIFY "SELF-CARE" MEASURES.
* "Practice" getting spooks under control (circling, posture and body relaxation, shoulder-in)
* Practice having correct posture at all times (open knees, dropped heels, shoulders back, hips forward, butt tucked)
* Breathing exercises before and during ride
* Call "the scary side" something else, like "the side they serve booze on" or "the lovely historic mallorcan farmhouse side" or just "the left side"

STEP 7: IDENTIFY EARLY WARNING SIGNS OF FEAR.
* Body gets tense
* Hands shake
* Heart pounding

STEP 8: STATE YOUR LONG-TERM GOAL. 
* My goal is to calmly maintain control of and enjoy riding Starbuck outside the stable grounds and on the scary side of the arena.

STEP 9: STATE YOUR SHORT-TERM GOALS. 
1.- Breathing exercises - at tying post, after mounting and when I feel myself getting tense.
2.- Practice techniques for spook control without spooky horses in the arena.
3.- Spend time desensitizing Starbuck on scary side of arena.
4.- Cool down after lessons riding in parking lot and roads right outside the stable grounds.
5.- Go on short trail rides with only calm, dependable horses.

STEP 10: PUT IT ALL TOGETHER.
Honestly after putting my thoughts in order in this way, I really do feel more capable of dealing with our current "fear plateau" and am excited have some good goals to work on in the next few weeks.  I'll keep you updated.

Boo-boos and Boo-hoos (or not)

My poor baby has another boo boo!  Just when she had finally recuperated from the limp in her front right leg, she's developed some swelling and tenderness on her croup right above her tail, which is making her lame behind!  At first I was worried that I might have brought it on myself by doing some light longeing and yielding the hindquarters on Tuesday, but Marina says there's no way.  Starbuck has a bad habit of rubbing her butt up against her stall to scratch her bug bites and Marina thinks she must have strained herself some way doing that, either that or slipping in a pee-puddle in her paddock and "sitting down" too much.

So another round of 'bute and another week of rest... woo hoo.  I'm trying to stay motivated and upbeat and relaxed about it but it's tough.  Between the lameness and the fact that paddock (not even stall) rest (even with reduced and lower calorie rations, hand grazing, "manners" training and hour-long grooming / massage sessions once a day) is giving Starbuck a dangerous tendency to go absolutely bonkers everytime she sees or hears anything even slightly scary, I feel like at this rate it'll be autumn before I'm able to ride again.  I really don't feel terribly safe hand-walking her when she freaks out, it hasn't been this bad since I started training her.  It's hard walking the line between physical and mental equine health, I know she'll go totally stir crazy and be miserable if she's stuck in her paddock but I also know that apart from worrying about my own (and my barn-mates') safety, every spin, sidestep, buck or rear- however small- while she's on the lead means that much longer until she heals completely.  I guess it's a good excuse to shell out some serious discipline and raise my comfort and confidence level with her even more.

On a happier note, the vet-recommended treatment for her bug bite reaction of special shampoo, aloe vera and bug spray is really working well!  Her coat is growing back over the bald spots (once again in another, darker colour so she's kind of appaloosa-y again) and she's scratching much less.  So I'm really pleased about that, since the bug bites were probably bothering her way more on a day-to-day basis than her leg injuries.  Here's the link to the "before" photos in case you want to compare.

Another good thing is that I've been taking a lesson a week on Marina's horses which is not only fun but helps out my seat a lot.  And I'm planning to take at least one jumping lesson a week on one of the lesson geldings so that when I can finally ride Starbuck again and we finally go over that first oxer, hopefully I will neither pull her in the mouth nor slam my butt on her back afterwards (I'm terrible at jumping).

I'm also on a weight-loss kick (lost almost 8 pounds so far but a lot more to go) and am doing more exercise - I got the Wii Zumba game and have started Bikram Yoga classes, which hopefully will improve my general fitness and thus my ability to have a better seat.  And if I weigh less and am more balanced (thanks to the yoga), I'll eventually be easier for Starbuck to carry.  So maybe I should be thankful for this time off after all.

Starbuck by the way also celebrates July 4th, even if she is a furner!

Not of this world

Wednesday evening lesson report - My husband Sergio came along with me to take pictures and video, as you can see above.  It was interesting afterward to hear his point of view, especially since he doesn't know (or care) much about horses.  "She seemed like she was not of this world" was his strangely poetic reply when I asked him what he thought of us.

Here's the mise en scene: after a couple of weeks of summer-like temperatures and blazing sun, yesterday we had clouds, a fresh sea breeze and a slight chill in the air.  All the animals (including humans) at the stable seemed to be frisky - the dogs were chasing each other around and barking at the kids, the kids were running back and forth yelling at each other and swinging plastic bags and other fun noisy objects at the horses.  And of course, the horses responded accordingly.  Even the old lesson horses were acting up, like a normally lazy pony who spooked and dumped his rider, then promptly started galloping around the arena with his leg stuck through one of his reins.  Or the 18 year old mare whose heat cycle was apparently too much for her and decided to try to tempt one of the school geldings into some impromtu nookie.  Add that to the fact that two little girls were jumping grids at the end of the arena and every so often they would lose control and one of their horses would come cantering through our lesson.

Starbuck was also a little footsore from her trim on Tuesday, I got to the stable late so I rushed tacking her up and when I finally had her ready to go every square meter of the arena was full so I had to longe her in the scrubby grassy part where she pays way more attention to trying to snatch a bite to eat than she does to my instructions.

You know how all those Natural Horsemanship folks talk about setting your young horse up for success?  Well this was a perfect example of what NOT to do.  But on the other hand, we're now at a point where I can't give her the day off just because I'm not absolutely sure she won't dump me.  So I mounted up (from the off side and with hardly any circling at all, thank you very much) and started our warm up.

Right off the bat she was fidgety, tense and distracted - her head was swinging all over the place, up, down, left, right, back at me, ... if there was something even slightly visible she wanted to check it out, and two times out of three it turned out to be something she found scary.  So we warmed up with a fair amount of contact instead of on the buckle, but we finally got her loosened up enough to join the rest of the class.  We started trotting on a circle with the rest of the students, but she spooked often enough that Marina put us on the inside track to work on transitions.  I still find it really challenging to stay one step ahead of her and find different things to ask her to do constantly so she stays focused on me but I guess this is just something I'll get better at as I gain more experience.

At any rate, I tried my best to keep her occupied with limited success and she spooked a few of times but for once I was relaxed, balanced and with it enough to use my one-rein stop on her and get us both settled down and back to work.  As anxious a person as I am, it's so hard to focus on releasing tension and relaxing my muscles and deep breathing when I want to focus on "WHY WON'T SHE GO SLOWER!!!" but I'm slowly learning to do so.

So this is why my husband referred to her as "not of this world" - she was in a universe of her own the whole time where everything was really interesting and scary at the same time.  He said he had expected her to be more focused but also understood that just like a normal ADD teenager she has good days and bad.  But what was most revealing was when I asked him if he had been afraid for me when she spooked (he's always worried I'm going to fall off and break something) and he said that as a matter of fact I seemed so sure of myself and confident the whole time that he hadn't worried about it at all.

So in the end Wednesday's lesson wasn't so much about Starbuck's progress but my own.  And it's about damn time!  I get so wrapped up working towards shaping her into my dream horse that I tend to forget that I've got a long way to go before I'm her dream rider.

Footsie

Yesterday the farrier came (an hour late), I longed Starbuck a little first and she was a little lame in the right front leg at the trot-- I'm guessing she's been acting up in her paddock and slipped in the mud but if it's not better by the weekend I'll call the vet.  The farrier said he couldn't see any problem and Marina said she was running around like a crazy person this morning, so I'm not too worried.  I've also checked her legs and shoulders for any hotspots or sensitivity and can't find anything... hoping it'll just go away.

Anyhow she behaved way worse than the last time (which was also the first time!) she had her hooves trimmed which I was really surprised and disappointed by, since I'd been really pleased lately with how well she gives me her hooves.  She snatched her hoof out of his hands and even reared once when he was doing her front hooves and kept kicking out when he tried to do her right rear hoof-- luckily my farrier is the most patient and chilled out guy on the planet (even for a Spaniard he's seriously laid back) so he just took his time, picking it up with a rope so she could struggle without hurting anyone and without being able to get her foot away and then trying again with his hand but she wasn't going for it.  

At first she was really nervous and freaked out, but then I could tell it was more of an attitude thing, like what I was talking about the other day.  Anyhow after a while he moved on to the left rear foot which she let him trim with no trouble at all, then moved back to the right one but there was just no way.  In the end after lots of repetition he was able to lift the hoof with his hand several times but nothing else and we agreed to leave it until Friday, when he's coming back to shoe another horse at my stable.  So she's still got one raggedy hoof, but at least she hasn't had a traumatic experience with the farrier.  I'm really stepping up my leadership and trying not to let her get away with stuff but I think in this case we did the right thing.

He says by the way that her hooves are super healthy and textbook shaped which I'm really thrilled about, especially because when I got her they were so overgrown I was worried there might be permanent problems.  Speaking of which, I found an old photo where you can see how ducky they were in August before I started working with her and they started self-exfoliating.  And then the photos from the last hoof-trimming session, tomorrow I'm going to try to remember to take some of those pretty round soles :-) 

Before:

After:

Oops...

Maybe I ought to start out with a little bit of my history with horses.  I've been in love with horses since as long as I can remember and as a kid, my parents were kind and generous enough to scrape together the extra cash to give me and my sister have riding lessons once a week.  I never got very good but rode a lot of different horses both in the ring training for English pleasure and on trail rides through the woods and fields of North Carolina.  I stopped riding when I went away to college and had to start paying my way in life and except for the odd trail ride when on vacation had pretty much filed it under "To do when I am rich".

About two and a half years ago, I was going through a very stressful time at work and had tried several different "extra curricular" activities in the hopes of  getting my anxiety down to normal levels when I remembered that I loved riding and was spending just enough money to pay for lessons on long lunches, spa treatments and other de-stressing activities.  So I started taking dressage lessons once a week with a very low-key teacher-- lots of fun and I felt like I had gotten right back into the swing of things, but I didn't improve my riding very much at all.  After going on an all-day trail ride with the incredible folks at Gredos Ecuestre, I felt inspired to dedicate a little more time and effort to riding, so I started looking for a horse to lease, which I found under the care of Fernando Arias Somalo.  Nadine was a lovely and sweet KWPN who was way to good for me and Fernando was quick to let me know my limitations.  For the 4 months that I rode with him I worked harder and learned more about riding than I had in my entire life with horses-- think endless laps at a trot without stirrups, balancing in the stirrups while standing straight up at the trot, cantering on the longe with no hands, etc...

Then I came to Mallorca where I found my current stable, Equitec Balear.  The owner Marina is a great coach of riders, knowing exactly how and when to give a tactful critique, but what I like most about her is that she designs her classes around her horses; inventing exercises which will help overcome conformational defects or strengthen a previous injury.  I rode with her for about 6 months before I acquired Starbuck in August.  So the long and the short of it is that I'm by no means a great equestrienne-- I have balance and posture problems, I depend too much on my hands for stability and I by no means have acquired a truly independent seat.

Where all this is going is that when I decided to train Starbuck I knew I was taking on a huge task and I wasn't 100% sure I was up to it, but I had so much interest and enthusiasm I just pretty much threw myself into it and we made a lot of progress very quickly (OK, much slower than a professional trainer but to me it's seemed fast).  It was a lot of fun investigating different NH strategies, planning training sessions and seeing how she reacted to different exercises and as I read more and tried out different things, I started to feel like a bit of an expert-- I had put into practice the theories I had learned and it was working!

But today I realized that it's not just about good intentions and theory and paying attention to what I'm doing, I also need to know how to RIDE!  In the roundpen it's easy, she's super calm and all whoa.  But in the big arena, she has room to move freely, which is great, but she also feels freer to act up a little.  Oh, and there's all this scary stuff like the house with the invisible tiger cages and all the jump standards and cones and poles and people coming in and out of the tack room... so she freaks out, then I freak out even though I try deep breathing exercises and letting all the tension drain out of my body, and it all goes to hell in a handbasket.

Today for instance, I was worried about her bucking so when she had a fairly big spook I pulled her head up and held on way too hard to the reins, which I know must have really hurt her mouth.  Poor girl!  And to make things worse my friend Miguel gave me a little on-the-spot coaching on the subject of not pulling her head into an inverted position and I was too stressed and freaked to be able to accept his advice graciously and actually tried to justify it.  So I'm thinking I might ask Marina for a couple of classes just so she can keep me from doing too much harm, at any rate there's a NH clinic at my barn next week which I'll definitely go to.  Anyhow here's the video; I give myself major kudos on not falling off but need to be able to stabilize myself without hurting her.  I'm going to try tying a ribbon to her mane to remember to grab mane instead of reins...

Training Vid Tuesday

Since Starbuck learned how to buck me off on Sunday I decided that today's training video should deal with just that-- it never hurts to be prepared just in case she decides to try to make a habit of playing rodeo.  This is obviously classic young horse stuff and the idea is that as soon as they figure out that it doesn't get the desired results, they stop doing it.  But a lot of greenies get nervous or tetchy about certain things (especially transitioning into canter) and keep bucking from time to time, which is the case of the horse in the video.


Lindsay Forkun of LFE Equestrian uses Natural Horsemanship techniques to break this horse's habit of bucking when cantering.  The idea is to first get a good solid canter without bucking while doing groundwork, then with a rider start out cantering for just a few strides and giving him a rest when he canters without bucking.  Since horses are conditioned reponse animals who learn by repetition, increasing the amount of strides bit by bit but allowing him the reward of resting after doing it well gets the horse to "practice" cantering without bucking, instead of "practicing" endless boring laps at the canter with intermittent bucks thrown in.   In other words, making the wrong thing hard and the right thing easy.

Hopefully Starbuck won't turn into a bucking bronc and thus I won't need to school it out of her, but I'm glad to have this elegant new trick in my arsenal anyway.  Also, a freebie I really enjoyed finding in this video is the "you can eat grass now" cue which I plan to teach Starbuck at some point... at the moment I've only got the "you CAN'T eat grass now" cue which only works about 70% of the time and I'd much rather she didn't try to graze on her own initiative.  But you gotta start somewhere, right?

And now for a something completely different:
This is just a random "training journal" note I wanted to record... While training during lunchtime today on the "scary" side of the arena near where the stable managers obviously keep ravenous yet invisible lions, tigers and bears, Starbuck freaked out, whirled around in her habitual spooky circle and slipped, falling smack down on her hips.  We had been doing some leading work up and down the side and when she finally relaxed a little I decided to let her graze along the fence line as a reward.  But something off to the side made a little noise and she absolutely panicked.  Since this happened when she was doing something she actually wanted to do (grazing) I guess the spooks are 100% real and not played up or a behavioural issue, I only hope that somehow she can come to trust me as her leader and realize that when she's with me she's not in danger.

She limped a little afterward and the first time I asked her to trot after the fall seemed like she was about to collapse on the leg which was under her when she fell, but then we walked around a little more and by the time I could ask stable owner Marina about it she was moving pretty well both at the walk and the trot.  So I hosed her down with cold water (it was pretty warm today and she was real sweaty from being so nervous) and gave her a little massage, but I'm going to go see her tonight to see how she's doing and give her some bute if she's stiff or swollen-- hopefully tomorrow she'll be fine but if not I'll call the vet.

I guess it's normal for young horses to be clumsy but I hope she grows out of this slipping and falling stuff or learns that these crazy sudden movements aren't all they cracked up to be, before she breaks something or I have a heart attack.

Training Vid Tuesday

Lately I've been having some trouble with Starbuck getting all worked up and squirrelly, especially around the tying posts and the "scary" side of the arena.  For instance, for two days in a row she's gone completely crazy when I was grooming her and then the walk from the tying posts to wherever we'll be working in the arena is adventurous to say the least.  She no longer barges into me or tries to run over me (yay!!!) but she still prances around in a circle and won't stay in leading position at all, getting ahead of me and swinging her hindquarters around and whatnot.  So I've been rereading everything from my Resources page on teaching your green horse to lead and looking for new tactics.

My mentor Marina (and John Lyons for that matter) say that this is normal for a young horse, that they'll do well for a few weeks or months, then get worse, then get better, then go not so bad and only after all that will they finally internalize a skill or cue 100%.  So I guess she's just on the downside of her overall learning curve-- that and we've had a lovely, windy, sunny and crisp winter so far-- just the kind of weather which makes even the retired 30 year old lesson horses kick up their heels.  

Anyhow I found this video from reining trainer Jodi Wilson which I liked due to its somewhat novel premise: you teach your horse to lead backwards with her head down and in line with the human's shoulder, then start taking a few steps forward.  I especially like it because of the importance it places on your horse's posture when it backs up so that it doesn't turn into a flight response or cause your horse to hollow out his back which can lead to soreness and bad habits under saddle.  Hope you enjoy it, I'm going to give it a try by working around the arena towards the scary side!

'Fraidy Cat

As much as I absolutely hate to admit it, I have some fear issues with horses.  I've fallen off, lost control and been bit, kicked and trampled enough times to know that injury is a given-- the only wild card is how serious.  I'm also discovering that my 30-something year old body is not as resilient as my teenage body was, and falls which I once would have classified as anecdotal now develop into weeks or months of nagging pain and unsightly swelling.  On top of everything, I've set out to do something-- train a green filly to be a 100% dependable, bombproof trail horse-- that I honestly have no idea if I really can do and which many people with a lot more horse experience than me have advised me not to try.

So yeah, I have to deal with some fear.  In a lot of ways, this is good, basic survival mechanism stuff and I sure am glad I'm not as death-defying as I was at 18.  But from time to time I'll notice that I don't really feel like working on the "spooky" side of the arena, or walking Starbuck past the barn stallion when she's in heat and he's feeling studdy.  Or we'll take a few too many "vacation" days without actually working.  And when I really start soul-searching, I'll figure out that it's not usually laziness, it's fear.  Fear of her spooking and running away, of the stallion breaking out of his paddock, of either of us sustaining a disabling injury, of not preparing her well enough, of losing my motivation... even of what people might think when they see us doing an exercize that's not going as planned.

This type of fear camouflages itself as laziness or apathy and leads to procrastination, excuse-making and justification.  It's insidiously demotivating, since it's oh-so tempting to tell myself that I've had a long day at work and that she could use some rest anyway to get out of a workout on one of those days where I'm sure all those invisible horse-eating monsters will abound.  But admitting that I don't want to work with her because I'm afraid... well, that's not so acceptable.  Not to mention that it sets a horrible example for Starbuck, who needs to be exposed to as many "scary" situations as possible as often as possible by a calm, responsible leader.  So how to deal with it?

Well, I think the first step is acceptance.  I need to accept that there are some things I'm afraid of and admit that some of these are perfectly valid.  After that, I need to set an internal alarm so that every time I say "Oooof, I really don't feel like doing so-and-so" I look deep inside myself to see if my reluctance is really motivated by fear, and decide whether that fear is rational or not.  And when I recognize my inner 'fraidy cat, I need laugh at myself for finding one of my own personal invisible monsters, go ahead and do what I didn't want to do and then make a note to do it again, and again, and again.

In other words, I need to sack myself out the same way I do with Starbuck: figure out what freaks me out and then keep doing it until I'm no longer phased by it.