A bad day

We had a pretty bad day yesterday, Starbuck and I.  We were accompanied by Virginia and Coco, René and Rodrigo, Ana and Pepa and Carmen and Trueno - right off the bat Starbuck was very possesive of Coco and pinned her ears and pointed her butt at anyone who came near.  This was annoying but not really troubling to me - I tend to just ignore the pinned ears and try to see it as an opportunity to improve my leg aids getting her rear end back on track.  In addition to acting bitchy, she was also really full of beans - trying to get in front constantly and just general ADHD stuff - for instance when we got to a park with some hills where the other horses just walked calmly, she just had to gallop up, nearly unseating me when I lost my stirrups.  Thank goodness I remembered to grab mane and turn her in a circle.

 It went on and on - nothing too terrible for the most part but just her being only barely controllable, which wound me up, which wound her up even further, which made things worse.  To look on the bright side, it was a really interesting new route we'd never been on before with what looked like plenty of new places to explore on future rides, we did a fair amount of trotting on varied terrain so she was able to use her muscles differently than she does in the arena, and she was certainly tracking up the entire time.  One of the things I think is so valuable about our trail rides is that I don't tend to have to push her and can really practice trotting and cantering without constant leg cues, and yesterday was no exception - only I ended up with a sore back, a tension headache and blisters on my hands from the reins, so I don't even want to think about (but am making myself acknowledge) how her back and mouth must have felt.

On the way home things were even worse - she broke into a full out gallop several times and to discipline her I took what may not have been one of my best decisions of all time - every time she broke into a gallop I'd turn her around, walk her to the end of the group and only let her catch up with the group at a walk or a slow trot.  This understandably pissed her off even more, but I can't always let her have her way, especially if it entails unsafe behavior around other horses.  Anyhow this strategy worked more or less until we got back to the hilly park, where the rest of the horses walked down the hill and since she wanted to gallop and I wasn't able to rate her, I wouldn't let her go after them.  We circled and circled at the top of the hill and as the rest of the horses moved on out of sight she got more and more frantic until finally my friend Virginia came back with Coco to rescue us and we followed them down - at a trot, which was faster than I wanted but slower than Starbuck wanted.  I guess this is an example of “a good negotiation is one where both parties walk equally unhappy”.  I am now convinced that what I should have done is get off then and walk her down in hand, but I was too frantic to think clearly about anything but my aids and immediate strategy for not getting us killed.

The most serious scare was when we passed some people who were fixing a stone wall on the side of the road - a little old lady helping them started telling me "How lovely to see people riding horses out here in the countryside on a Sunday" when two cars passed us and Starbuck freaked out, lunging towards the poor little old lady before getting back in line and passing her.  She didn't get closer than about 5 feet, but still - it was still much too close for comfort and I felt awful for the poor lady.  I was so freaked out I don't even remember if I apologized.  Then only a few minutes later Carmen's horse Trueno got a little closer to Starbuck's rear end than she wanted and she gave a mini buck and then a BIG buck when he didn't heed the first one - thankfully he wasn't close enough for her to reach him but still... I was really losing it at this point - after two hours of tension and barely controlled explosions I was starting to really feel angry and superfrustrated and noticed that I was starting to do things like jerk on the reins and use the whip as a punishment.  So as soon as we got off the road I stopped her as soon as I could and jumped off and led her the rest of the way back to the stable, which was good for both of our backs anyway.  But I was feeling guilty, pissed, and scared.

By the time I longed her in the arena (no way she was getting off easy after the ride she gave me), showered her, rubbed her down and gave her a nice pile of hay, I was able to be a little more philosophical.  I do think my biggest mistake was not getting off earlier but trying to muscle my way through her craziness by riding, so next time I'll bring my long lead rope so I can do some emergency longeing if I need to.  Lesson # 1 learned.  Other lessons: it's important to be reminded from time to time that no matter how well she behaves on one trail ride (or lesson, or show, or whatever...), it's no guarantee she'll behave so well the next time, and that I can't get cocky since I still can't necessarily control her all the time.  I'm also going to get a green ribbon for her tail to give people (myself included) a visual reminder that she's not completely predictable, and I will never again stop right in front of a little old lady, even if it means being rude.

Mostly, I have to remember that we all have bad days, and I can't get bogged down or discouraged by this one, no matter how harrowing it was.  After all, it wasn't SO bad - we discovered a new route and went on a trail ride in sketchy (wind, dark threatening clouds) weather without maiming anyone, including ourselves.  And although it was touch and go at some points, I WAS still able to control her in the end.  I'm even trying to be optimistic and remember that usually when she has several really bad days close together it generally signals a learning spurt.  But still, next year she's getting liability insurance - it'll be one less thing to worry about.

Why I'm glad I'm fat

Thanks to "Tales from a Bad Eventer" for the photo!

"Thank God my ass is so fat" is not something that tends to go through my mind on a daily basis.  In fact my lifelong struggle between wanting to be hot and wanting to subsist entirely on a diet of cheese, pork products, fried food and elaborate desserts pretty much makes me tend to think the exactly the opposite, cursing my oh-so-American "curves" fairly regularly.  But I sure was grateful for all that extra blubber last night - and I bet you can guess why ;-)

So here's what went down - it's been pretty rainy for the past couple of days and we've all been jonesing for a ride.  Last night the rain had stopped, but not long enough for the arena to be usable.  So yesterday my stablemates Amanda and Maria Jose decided to at least ride around the barnyard on the walkways going by all the paddocks.  Somehow the fact that we would be riding in the dark except for the moon and a far away bulb throwing some freaky shadows, that it was still really muddy and that the horses hadn't been ridden all week failed to deter us, so we saddled 'em up, jumped on and started off.

First obstacle - horny stud colt on one side of the track, playful and bored horses bounding up to see what we were doing on the other.  Starbuck got a little exuberant and broke into a trot to get to the head of the line while Maria Jose's horse Compay decided to teach horny stud colt a lesson by throwing a few bucks.  Maria Jose wisely got off but Amanda and I kept going.

Second obstacle - scary corner where the horses could see their own shadows.  Starbuck wheeled around and tried to gallop back where we had come from, luckily dodging poor Maria Jose.  But I wheeled her back around and we were able to walk (well, prance) past it.

Third obstacle - terrifying hay bales covered with horrific tarps.  All three of the horses stopped in their tracks and didn't want to pass the evil hay bales.  Maria Jose tried to walk Compay in hand past it first but Starbuck and Melyne (Amanda's mare) were getting nervous so I decided to pass her.  There was a moment where Starbuck got stuck, then I tapped her with my crop and she shot forward, then sideways, then backward, then whirled around in a circle and started to gallop off.  During this I was mostly just trying to stay up there and do a little damage control since we were a little too close to the roof of one of the stalls for comfort, but I ended up putting too much weight on one stirrup so when she galloped off the saddle slipped down to the right side.  Between me hauling on the reins to slow her down and the saddle being way off center, she got pissed off and threw a few bucks and I went down on the third, landing squarely on my right butt cheek.  But she didn't get very far before I went down and it didn't even hurt (and still doesn't this morning), which is why today I'm celebrating my tendency to chunkiness.  Yay cheese!

Anyhow after walking her by the offending hay bale and its dangerous drapery several times and letting her snort at it a few more times, I got right back up and this time was able to ride by without incident.  We made several more loops of the stableyard and in the end really enjoyed our ride in the moonlight.  So I'm not happy I fell but I am happy I didn't let the fall ruin what ended up being a good learning and desensitizing experience and a fun ride with friends.

Going back in time to Monday, the day before all the rain started, I decided to give Starbuck kind of a light day and started just longeing her, but then got inspired and decided to ride her.  But to keep things low-key, I rode her with only the rope halter and lead rope instead of her normal bridle.  It's the first time I'd ridden all over the whole arena like that - the other times I've ridden her in a halter we blocked off the "non-scary" section to ride in, so I was pretty proud of us.  It took me a while to remember how to switch the lead rope from one side to the other without smacking her in the face with it, and it took her a while to realize I really meant her to go where I was asking her to go, but in the end we really covered the entire arena doing lots of serpentines and figure eights and walking right by the bar and pigpen and whatnot at a walk, then doing some figure-eights and circles at a trot and a couple of circles in canter.

Some positive things I took away from this: she didn't buck or dash off at a full out gallop or otherwise misbehave at any point, so that was a big trust-booster for me.  Also she had her head way down the entire time and was really actually using her hindquarters - you would have taken her for a western pleasure horse if it weren't for the saddle.  And finally, over the course of the 40 minutes or so that I was riding her we really progressed from "I'm completely going to ignore your aids" to "You don't really want to go over THERE do you?" to "I guess we can do that if you say so" to "OK, let's do it".  As much as I hate being bad at something, it's good to experience both the humbling sensation of not being able to do the simplest thing like walk in a straight line for 10 feet but also the cause-and-effect goodness of that kind of progress from time to time - it reminds me to not get so frustrated when things don't go like I want them to.

And finally last Saturday I had my first dressage lesson with my friend Virginia's old teacher Daniela who also taught a clinic I attended a few years ago - my friend Belén (owner of Lady Utopia, an even younger filly than Starbuck - and yes, that's her registered name) and I have decided to kick it up a notch and do some semi-private (just us and the teacher) lessons once every couple of weeks to see if we can make some real progress on both our riding and the girls' way of going this winter.  We got one of our friends to tape it and as soon as I have enough patience and time and computer resources to upload the videos I'll do a dedicated post on that.

Have a great weekend folks and remember, being chubby has its benefits! XD

Boo-boos and Boo-hoos (or not)

My poor baby has another boo boo!  Just when she had finally recuperated from the limp in her front right leg, she's developed some swelling and tenderness on her croup right above her tail, which is making her lame behind!  At first I was worried that I might have brought it on myself by doing some light longeing and yielding the hindquarters on Tuesday, but Marina says there's no way.  Starbuck has a bad habit of rubbing her butt up against her stall to scratch her bug bites and Marina thinks she must have strained herself some way doing that, either that or slipping in a pee-puddle in her paddock and "sitting down" too much.

So another round of 'bute and another week of rest... woo hoo.  I'm trying to stay motivated and upbeat and relaxed about it but it's tough.  Between the lameness and the fact that paddock (not even stall) rest (even with reduced and lower calorie rations, hand grazing, "manners" training and hour-long grooming / massage sessions once a day) is giving Starbuck a dangerous tendency to go absolutely bonkers everytime she sees or hears anything even slightly scary, I feel like at this rate it'll be autumn before I'm able to ride again.  I really don't feel terribly safe hand-walking her when she freaks out, it hasn't been this bad since I started training her.  It's hard walking the line between physical and mental equine health, I know she'll go totally stir crazy and be miserable if she's stuck in her paddock but I also know that apart from worrying about my own (and my barn-mates') safety, every spin, sidestep, buck or rear- however small- while she's on the lead means that much longer until she heals completely.  I guess it's a good excuse to shell out some serious discipline and raise my comfort and confidence level with her even more.

On a happier note, the vet-recommended treatment for her bug bite reaction of special shampoo, aloe vera and bug spray is really working well!  Her coat is growing back over the bald spots (once again in another, darker colour so she's kind of appaloosa-y again) and she's scratching much less.  So I'm really pleased about that, since the bug bites were probably bothering her way more on a day-to-day basis than her leg injuries.  Here's the link to the "before" photos in case you want to compare.

Another good thing is that I've been taking a lesson a week on Marina's horses which is not only fun but helps out my seat a lot.  And I'm planning to take at least one jumping lesson a week on one of the lesson geldings so that when I can finally ride Starbuck again and we finally go over that first oxer, hopefully I will neither pull her in the mouth nor slam my butt on her back afterwards (I'm terrible at jumping).

I'm also on a weight-loss kick (lost almost 8 pounds so far but a lot more to go) and am doing more exercise - I got the Wii Zumba game and have started Bikram Yoga classes, which hopefully will improve my general fitness and thus my ability to have a better seat.  And if I weigh less and am more balanced (thanks to the yoga), I'll eventually be easier for Starbuck to carry.  So maybe I should be thankful for this time off after all.

Starbuck by the way also celebrates July 4th, even if she is a furner!

Bratty Bratty Brat Brat

Starbuck's been a nasty little brat for the past two days.  Yesterday, she didn't want me to put salve on a little scrape she had on her face and kept running off, and on Tuesday she even kicked out at me in her paddock (luckily her aim was off) when I made her hustle a little.  I know she's in heat, that her best friend has been sick and that the weather's changing, but you'd think she'd give me a little break.  After all, I've had to get up an hour early every day due to daylight savings' time, work three 10 hour days this week where I missed going to see her at lunch and could only go to the stable in the evening, my favorite barn kitty was bitten by a dog and needed some serious wound treatment, I've been superbusy with www.puntoecuestre.com and on top of everything I've got the world's worst and longest case of PMS this month.  So here I was hoping that she would be the bright spot in a murky week, and she let me down.  I've been going over and over this all in my head all week, worrying about her "backsliding" and starting to question her recent progress.

Until today, I thought, "wait a minute"...

There's so much talk in Natural Horsemanship (and other training philosophies for that matter) about "putting the relationship first".  We work so hard on making sure that our horses are happy and trusting little followers and that we confidently fill their every need.  But a relationship is about so much more than being a leader.  According to the almighty Google, a relationship is "The way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected."  That bears repeating.  A relationship is the state of being connected.  If one of us is emotionally distant due to stress, hormones or tiredness, the connection weakens and the relationship suffers.  Especially with an animal as imitative as a horse who we specifically train to take their emotional cues from us (head down, breathe deep, relax girl...) and who is going through her own hormonal changes.

How many times have I snapped at my husband for no good reason and he's graciously let it slide?  But every now and then both of us are in a bad mood at the same time, and this is when we have to be really careful not to get in a stupid argument.  If what I truly want with Starbuck is a friendship, a meaningful relationship where we are both willing partners, then I have to have the same consideration for her.  I can't expect to come stomping into the barn throwing stuff around and rushing to do everything and hope for her to be thrilled to see me.  As Carolyn Resnick so aptly puts it, I need to remember that this is a courtship.  Just as I always manage a pleasant greeting to my husband no matter how stressed out I am, I need to manage a pleasant demeanor which encourages Starbuck want to be around me, or prepare myself to accept whatever she's prepared to give back.

This is by no means an excuse for her kicking out at me which I promptly roundpenned out of her (she had a lot of excess energy she needed to work off anyway and we were able to practice her canter), I still think she was trying to assume the lead and that it's something I need to keep a close eye on.  But I'm 100% sure that if I had been slightly more pleasant and focussed on her instead of complaining about my workweek to my barnmates when trying to put the salve on (or put her halter on first so she couldn't get away in the first place), she wouldn't have run off, I wouldn't have had to hustle her and she wouldn't have gotten defensive.  An ounce of prevention is better than a pound of cure.  And the next time I get "nasty little brat" responses, I need to make sure I'm not making "nasty little brat" requests.

Frustration

It's NOT this warm here right now btw, this is a photo from last summer.

Tried out the new lead rope today.  Starbuck's just starting to go into heat and was a megabrat, and I'm about to start my period and am a megabitch so it was kind of like clash of the clumsy hormonal titans.  At first she did great while we were in the aisles and she was near her buddies but as soon as we got into the parking lot (full of some mildly scary stuff and has good footing so my choice for leading lessons lately) she started acting up. Not just spooking (which there was a fair amount of) and running past me but also lots of dancy prancy stuff, head tossing and bolting in the direction of her friend Coco.  She reminded me of a certain bratty adolescent who used to throw temper tantrums when her parents wouldn't let me... oops, I mean her... go to rock concerts and I realized yet again why I prefer 4 legged children to the 2 legged ones.

I got really pissed off and kept at it until she gave some semblance of being under control, cueing her backward every time she rushed past me-- I think we must have walked half a mile backwards all in all.  And all the time what really bothered me was thinking that if she's going to completely ignore me either way I might as well use a lead rope which is less severe.  But it's the first time I used that rope, it was cold and windy and sunny, she's going into heat, I wasn't in a particularly zen frame of mind... so many reasons for things to go to hell in a handbasket.

So I'll try again tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that.  And bit by bit she'll get better, and if not at least at some point she'll stop being a teenager.  Right, Mom and Dad?

Rainy Day

OK, I know I've been kind of lax on the blog front lately but I've had the flu, that's a good excuse, right?  I actually think that I was a little too productive for a few weeks there and now I have a little writing hangover, so I'm going to keep it short for a few posts.  Anyone who follows me on Twitter will know that for the past few days we've had some really rainy weather-- too muddy and slippery to do much work.  So I've pretty much just been doing some tack cleaning and hanging out in the bar where there's a wood burning stove and they make you thick spanish hot chocolate for a euro.

Both yesterday and today Virginia and I have walked Starbuck and Coco out to a newly cleared field so they could get out of their paddocks and get a little exercise-- yesterday we just set them loose and let them run and graze but today I longed Starbuck a little while Coco was grazing nearby to remind her that it's not always playtime when the two of them are together... at first she was pretty rebellious but a few changes of direction had her licking her lips and dropping her head and at that point I stopped her and let her go play with her friend.

Marina the barn owner has lent me a new lead line, it's the one recommended for young horses by Linda Tellington-Jones-- it's like a chain lead to be used over the nose but with a thin rope instead of a chain.  We'll see how it goes, I think I need to stop worrying about possibly hurting her and more about stepping up and being a confident leader.

Anyhow here are some random photos from today:

Barn kitty napping between my alfalfa and my hay- nice and dry under the plastic sheeting :-)

Another cute shot of bar kitty with Starbuck getting a little wet while she eats her mid-morning snack.

And another one... Cute!

It's kind of hard to tell but that's SNOW on the Tramuntana mountains- first time I've seen snow here in Mallorca!

This is the kind of food we eat at my stable-- lobster stew.  Not bad for 8€, huh?

Clinic Part 2

Sorry guys but I've been pretty fluey for the past few days so aside from trying to edit the more than 200 minutes of video I took at the clinic the other day (still not done!!!) and work on my mystery project I haven't done much else.  Since I haven't finished the video of the last part of the clinic where everyone but me did ridden exercises, this post is going to be kind of wee.

First I'll include the Yoga for Riding video, the subtitles are in Spanish for the benefit of the folks at my stable but I'll include a translation in English below.  The exercises are designed to improve your coordination, flexibility and balance and "train" your body to allow independent movement of one part without influencing the rest.  The idea is to do the exercises for a few minutes before every ride to loosen yourself up and not let  your stiffness or imbalance get in the way of your horse's movement.

1. Rotate shoulders foreward and backward.
2. Rotate the left shoulder forward and the right shoulder backward (then repeat on the other side).
3. Move head slowly up and down, then left and right.
4. Lift your leg and rotate it from the hip: first with your eyes open, then with your eyes closed.  Take note of which side is easier to work on the other one.
5. Balance on one leg: first with your eyes open, then closed.
6. Step forward in slow-motion with your eyes closed.
7. Rotate your hips while keeping the rest of your body absolutely still.
8. Windmills- rotate your torso left and right while swinging your arms.
9. Write the alphabet in the air with one hand and the numbers from 1-10 in the air with the other.
10. Now do the same while rotating your leg from the hip!

I've also made a video with some of the best moments of the roundpen session.  I've tried to include a little of both the horse's usual handler and Henry working with each and every horse in the workshop and there were a lot of fascinating moments, so it's almost 30 minutes long.  But if you're even a little interested I highly recommend watching all of it or even just skipping forward every few minutes since the horses, their reactions, their handlers and Henry's work with them are so incredibly unique.  A few examples are Starbuck who's a spoiled baby green 3 year old, former international show horse Gladys who was then used as a brood mare for several years and only recently brought back to the world of riding, and a few 20-something year old lesson geldings finally getting a chance to find their own personality with a private owner / leasor as well as some feisty younger mares with dominance issues (just a hint-- they're the ones wearing pink).

It was really a great experience since we were able to observe each of the horse's reactions and get some real insight into how the horse communicates its feelings, worries and desires.  It was also a great chance to soak up some of Henry's natural animal magnetism and try to assimilate some of the techniques he uses- mostly just being peaceful and not "expecting" anything while very clearly maintaining a leadership position, allowing the horse to decide when and how to respond to him and taking the time the horse needs instead of keeping a "human" schedule.  

I'll try to finish the video of the "ridden" part of the clinic today or tomorrow and upload it before the week is over :-)

The Peanut Gallery

Thanks to ReelFilm.com for the pic!

• "You're gonna ride THAT?!?"
• "When are you going to stop spoiling her with all this groundwork and make her 'earn her keep'?" 
• "Don't let her run around like that-- make her stand still"
• "She'd lift her hoof better if you used treats"
• "You should be cantering, jumping, sidepassing, rein-backing, ${fill in the blank-ing} her by now"
• "Don't let her put her head down when you're leading her"
• "Whack her on the nose if she gets ahead of you"
• "Whack her with the whip if she acts up under saddle"
• "Whack her on her chest if she won't back up"

...and the list goes on...

I try to be impervious and optimistic and zen-- in other words a natural "herd leader"-- when things go wrong.  I figure that if I'm jumping around, waving my whip and yelling, there's no way Starbuck's going to calm down enough to pay attention to what I want.  Don't get me wrong-- while I have no problem at all cranking up the pressure with a well-placed swat if I see those hindquarters swing my way or if my more subtle cues are being completely ignored, I strive to be judicious and calm and never let anything get me riled in front of Starbuck.  But when she's acting up (as I may point out, even professionally-trained 3 year olds tend to do from time to time) and just about anyone other than my instructor criticizes her behaviour or gives well-meant but unwanted advice, I have to admit I get my back up.

Often this ends with me pretending I haven't heard or understood whatever was said (one of the perks of being a foreigner) and if I'm already in a bad mood or feeling frustrated I have a bad habit of biting the speaker's head off.  I really need to work on changing both of these reactions though, since I'm lucky enough to be at a barn where my mostly-successful attempts to train a crazy-green horse have been not only allowed and indulged but encouraged at every step by wonderful and caring friends and every one of these comments have been made with the best of intentions.  I also need to remember that I've learned so much from trying different things out and seeing what doesn't work for Starbuck and I.  But the real reason I need to stop telling myself to "just ignore them" is that on the few occasions when I've kept myself under control, my civil and reasonable reply has made for some really valuable discussions about different styles of horsemanship.

So what started out as a "bitch-post" has morphed into the following idea: If we could all get off our high horses and use these moments to have some truly soul-searchingly honest conversations about the training or riding methods that have worked for us as well as why we reject or suggest certain techniques, keeping an open mind and not trashing other people's perspectives in the process, I think the equestrian world would be a much better place.  And this starts with listening to everyone, no matter how much experience or technique or money they have and no matter how "harsh" their criticism or "useless" their advice seems to be.  If you decide to go with your initial instinct, no harm is done.  But when we listen to others and consequently start an exchange, you open the door to a whole new world of possibilities.

And if you get really lucky, you might just find that you've been decieving yourself and really do have a problem which you can now fix before it becomes even worse, or your response to a piece of "advice" or "critique" just might make someone else reconsider a long-held but ultimately mistaken belief.

'Fraidy Cat

As much as I absolutely hate to admit it, I have some fear issues with horses.  I've fallen off, lost control and been bit, kicked and trampled enough times to know that injury is a given-- the only wild card is how serious.  I'm also discovering that my 30-something year old body is not as resilient as my teenage body was, and falls which I once would have classified as anecdotal now develop into weeks or months of nagging pain and unsightly swelling.  On top of everything, I've set out to do something-- train a green filly to be a 100% dependable, bombproof trail horse-- that I honestly have no idea if I really can do and which many people with a lot more horse experience than me have advised me not to try.

So yeah, I have to deal with some fear.  In a lot of ways, this is good, basic survival mechanism stuff and I sure am glad I'm not as death-defying as I was at 18.  But from time to time I'll notice that I don't really feel like working on the "spooky" side of the arena, or walking Starbuck past the barn stallion when she's in heat and he's feeling studdy.  Or we'll take a few too many "vacation" days without actually working.  And when I really start soul-searching, I'll figure out that it's not usually laziness, it's fear.  Fear of her spooking and running away, of the stallion breaking out of his paddock, of either of us sustaining a disabling injury, of not preparing her well enough, of losing my motivation... even of what people might think when they see us doing an exercize that's not going as planned.

This type of fear camouflages itself as laziness or apathy and leads to procrastination, excuse-making and justification.  It's insidiously demotivating, since it's oh-so tempting to tell myself that I've had a long day at work and that she could use some rest anyway to get out of a workout on one of those days where I'm sure all those invisible horse-eating monsters will abound.  But admitting that I don't want to work with her because I'm afraid... well, that's not so acceptable.  Not to mention that it sets a horrible example for Starbuck, who needs to be exposed to as many "scary" situations as possible as often as possible by a calm, responsible leader.  So how to deal with it?

Well, I think the first step is acceptance.  I need to accept that there are some things I'm afraid of and admit that some of these are perfectly valid.  After that, I need to set an internal alarm so that every time I say "Oooof, I really don't feel like doing so-and-so" I look deep inside myself to see if my reluctance is really motivated by fear, and decide whether that fear is rational or not.  And when I recognize my inner 'fraidy cat, I need laugh at myself for finding one of my own personal invisible monsters, go ahead and do what I didn't want to do and then make a note to do it again, and again, and again.

In other words, I need to sack myself out the same way I do with Starbuck: figure out what freaks me out and then keep doing it until I'm no longer phased by it.

Teething and Trails

Thanks to my barn buddy and fellow filly-owner / trainer Salvador for these fabulous pics of Virginia, Coco, Starbuck and I.  Since the arena was all puddly from the rain we took the horses out trail-walking to an orange grove and field right in front of the stable.  The horses were pleased as pie to be able to graze on all the yummy grass they wanted and as an added bonus I was able to introduce Starbuck to fast moving cars with the benefit of a chain link fence separating us from the highway.  She freaked out the first couple of times they passed close to us but after lots of petting and reassurance got used to them and settled right down!

The only problem was that at one point we lagged behind a little and she got separated from her friend Coco, she got a little worried and basically dragged me back to her buddy.  In the end I had to let her lead go since she trots a little faster than me, especially on uneven ground (I got her back in a jiffy).  So this is something we need to work on, both her being comfortable with hanging back from "the herd" on trails and also on her ALWAYS respecting both my space and my wishes-- no bargeing and no dragging, even when she's scared.  In the end I think it was a really positive experience and now I have the confidence to venture out more often and enjoy ever longer walks with Starbuck.

The other big news is that we got a visit from the tooth fairy!  That's right, my friend Virginia pointed out that Starbuck was missing a tooth and after washing out her mouth to have a better look, probing the area about 20 times with my fingers and worriedly asking the barn owner what could have happened she calmly told me that it's normal for a 3 to 4 year old horse to lose their baby teeth XD.  So I decided that I'll get the equine dentist who looks at some other horses in the stable to at least give my girl a yearly checkup when she comes over from Barcelona next month and in the meanwhile I think I need to know a little more about horse teeth.  Here's some reading material I've found:

• Horse Teeth article from Wikipedia
• The Development and Care of Horse Teeth
• Equine Tooth Problems and Dental Care
• Understanding Your Horse's Teeth

Key Concepts: Leadership over Dominance

A lot of people have the idea that the "trick" behind horse training is cultivating a dominant persona so that the  horse will thus be submissive to you.  And they're not too far off, since horses are hierarchical animals and a horse who feels like he's your "herd superior" will at the very least cop an obnoxious attitude and can end up downright dangerous if you don't do what he wants.  Kicking, biting and bargeing into your space are all actions that a horse does to test or show dominance, since in a herd the horse that eats first, drinks first and moves the other horses out of his way is the highest up on the ladder.  So why not try the "Silverback" theory?  First, a little National Geographic style background info:

Horses in the wild tend to live in herds which are governed by two horses; a stallion and a mare.  The Alpha stallion's purpose is to make babies, drive out maturing colts and fillies to prevent inbreeding and protect the herd from predators or other stallions.  He gains and maintains his position in the herd by shows of bravery and physical ability like fighting with other stallions or showing his physical fitness by prancing around the herd.  If the herd must flee, he usually remains in the rear to keep all the other horses running quickly and defend the herd in case a predator catches up with them.  The Alpha or lead mare is the strategist and disciplinarian, choosing where the herd will stop to eat, drink, and sleep, establishing the rhythm the herd will travel at and punishing any horses who are "misbehaving" by driving them temporarily to the outside of the herd.  The rest of the horses instinctively look to the herd mare for whether to be on guard or relax in any situation and tend to trust her judgement implicitly, and when the herd flees she is usually at its forefront to guide them to a safe haven.  She is generally one of the older mares and thus often isn't the strongest physically and doesn't achieve her position by fighting or mating with the stallion but by earning the respect and trust of the rest of the herd.

So in your own herd of two, who would you rather your horse associate you with?  The stallion or the mare?  Personally, I think choosing where and how fast my horse goes, what and when she eats and how she behaves is a lot more useful than all that stallion stuff.  What's the challenge?  That it's not enough to prove that I'm bigger, badder, stronger or smarter than her (traditional dominance theory).  I have to show leadership and gain her trust by proving that I consistently choose safe and pleasant things to do and places to go, that I won't ever let her go hungry or thirsty and that I will not tolerate any disrespectful behavior.  This way, hopefully some day she'll do the things I ask her to not because she fears me or is simply submitting to my will, but because she recognizes that I'll never ask her to do anything that's not safe or in her best interest in the long run.