Videos!

I don't have very much time before I head off to the stable on this beautiful, sunny Spring day in Mallorca, but I did finally manage to upload the videos from last weekend so here they are!

Starbuck playing with the new Parelli Big Green Ball:

Me riding Starbuck last Saturday:

Bratty Bratty Brat Brat

Starbuck's been a nasty little brat for the past two days.  Yesterday, she didn't want me to put salve on a little scrape she had on her face and kept running off, and on Tuesday she even kicked out at me in her paddock (luckily her aim was off) when I made her hustle a little.  I know she's in heat, that her best friend has been sick and that the weather's changing, but you'd think she'd give me a little break.  After all, I've had to get up an hour early every day due to daylight savings' time, work three 10 hour days this week where I missed going to see her at lunch and could only go to the stable in the evening, my favorite barn kitty was bitten by a dog and needed some serious wound treatment, I've been superbusy with www.puntoecuestre.com and on top of everything I've got the world's worst and longest case of PMS this month.  So here I was hoping that she would be the bright spot in a murky week, and she let me down.  I've been going over and over this all in my head all week, worrying about her "backsliding" and starting to question her recent progress.

Until today, I thought, "wait a minute"...

There's so much talk in Natural Horsemanship (and other training philosophies for that matter) about "putting the relationship first".  We work so hard on making sure that our horses are happy and trusting little followers and that we confidently fill their every need.  But a relationship is about so much more than being a leader.  According to the almighty Google, a relationship is "The way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected."  That bears repeating.  A relationship is the state of being connected.  If one of us is emotionally distant due to stress, hormones or tiredness, the connection weakens and the relationship suffers.  Especially with an animal as imitative as a horse who we specifically train to take their emotional cues from us (head down, breathe deep, relax girl...) and who is going through her own hormonal changes.

How many times have I snapped at my husband for no good reason and he's graciously let it slide?  But every now and then both of us are in a bad mood at the same time, and this is when we have to be really careful not to get in a stupid argument.  If what I truly want with Starbuck is a friendship, a meaningful relationship where we are both willing partners, then I have to have the same consideration for her.  I can't expect to come stomping into the barn throwing stuff around and rushing to do everything and hope for her to be thrilled to see me.  As Carolyn Resnick so aptly puts it, I need to remember that this is a courtship.  Just as I always manage a pleasant greeting to my husband no matter how stressed out I am, I need to manage a pleasant demeanor which encourages Starbuck want to be around me, or prepare myself to accept whatever she's prepared to give back.

This is by no means an excuse for her kicking out at me which I promptly roundpenned out of her (she had a lot of excess energy she needed to work off anyway and we were able to practice her canter), I still think she was trying to assume the lead and that it's something I need to keep a close eye on.  But I'm 100% sure that if I had been slightly more pleasant and focussed on her instead of complaining about my workweek to my barnmates when trying to put the salve on (or put her halter on first so she couldn't get away in the first place), she wouldn't have run off, I wouldn't have had to hustle her and she wouldn't have gotten defensive.  An ounce of prevention is better than a pound of cure.  And the next time I get "nasty little brat" responses, I need to make sure I'm not making "nasty little brat" requests.

Wheeeee!

My inner little horsecrazy girl came out today in a major way and I just had to write a little about it...

I rode Starbuck both yesterday and today after fairly short groundwork sessions beforehand (well, about 20 minutes which is short for me).  We rode both times in the big arena and both times with a fair amount of folks in the arena including a jumping class yesterday and some girls practicing jumps on their own today.  So she's really learning to focus on me and my requests instead of whatever the other horses are doing or anything scary outside the arena.  It helps that with her winter coat, I think she's too hot to want to misbehave very actively.

Yesterday she was majorly in heat, and I mean full on embarrassing, slutty (sorry peeps but that's the way it is), rump swinging, flehmen facey, butt tucky, pee-drippy heat.  And there were not one but two stallions in the arena with us, and every time one of them passed she let loose a little squeal.  But no bucks, no rearing, no sidesteps, it just never escalated beyond that - just a little squeal and tension and then two seconds later a release and she'd walk on.  So I steered her away from the stallions and that was that, we even walked all the way around the arena a couple of times with horses cantering right by us.  I think I was more nervous than she was, she did so well!

Today she was less slutty but one of her friends was in the arena and she kept wanting to go play... but again, we steered away and I tried to keep her busy with lots of circles, cloverleaves, serpentines, transitions, etc... which worked like a charm.  It really does keep her mind off monsters or playmates and get her focussing on me!  She did so well I decided to up the anty and ride her at the top of the arena for the first time.

I should explain here, sand in the Balearics is a surprisingly difficult commodity to come by (for environmental reasons) but my stable's arena is HUGE.  Like maybe 100 yards square.  So only half of the arena has sand put down and this is the half that's used for lessons.  The other half is basically red clay dirt with some scrubby plants and is mostly only used by folks who want to get away from the lessons - the footing's not as good and there are some menacing orange trees and carniverous horse-eating sparrows, but it's completely rideable.  I wasn't sure how Starbuck would do there and at first she was a little pissed that I wouldn't let her eat the scrubby plants, but then she took it all in stride and walked and trotted there like she'd been doing it all along.

I really think I'll be able to take her out on a trail ride before too long, she's coming along so well, and since the top of the arena is much less arena-like (lined with orange trees and birds flitting about and plants everywhere and the mountains in the background) I had so much fun riding there today... that was my little girl moment!  I've had a HUGE smile plastered across my face ever since...  I have videos to upload too, of the big green Parelli ball and of our ride yesterday, but I left the videocamera in the car so I'll have to post them tomorrow.  On my way home I decided to stop to watch the sun set on this first day of European daylight savings time... what a weekend!